Between my catholic school education (complete with nuns)
and spending quality time in the American South, I have learned that life is so
much easier if you are polite, thankful, and try your darnedest to be a good
sport.
Being polite means listening to hear what others have to say rather than to plan your response, asking for something with a smile
and a please, receiving something with a smile and a thank you, disagreeing
with someone without being disagreeable, and realizing that you don’t have to
raise your voice or your blood pressure to get your point across.
Being thankful means appreciating what you have, not judging
your good fortune based against others’ good fortune, taking joy in happy
surprises that come your way, expressing gratitude for recognition that you
receive with a simple thank you and not feeling the need to qualify it, demean
it, or complain when others receive recognition.
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| Saying Thanks is Simple and Universal Image made with Wordle.net - thanks |
By being prepared and being respectful of those who
assist me, I have always had excellent results with my research at libraries,
archives, historical societies, funeral homes, cemeteries, and genealogy
meetings and seminars. For the most part (whether online or offline) the
genealogy community is welcoming and helpful. But everyone wants to be asked
politely, thanked for their help, and acknowledged for their assistance. If someone
provides genealogy services for a fee or cost, they should be treated with the
same respect and courtesy that we treat our dentist, cashier, doctor, food
server, teacher, lawyer, plumber, or accountant rather than harangued for
charging a fee for services (it is not about the title, the degree, or the payment - it is about treating all others with respect).
By taking delight in my genealogy finds, offering to share
my skills, and thanking people who have helped me, I express an attitude of
gratitude. Sometimes we forget that the presentation, book, position, or
award does not appear overnight (there are no genealogy fairies toiling away at
night while we sleep). In order to give a presentation, that genealogist had to
come up with a lecture topic and put together her presentation. In order to be
the featured speaker at a conference, that genealogist had to respond to a call
for papers and put together his presentation. In order to be the president or
chair of an organization, that genealogist had to put in hours of volunteer
time and work her way up the ladder. In order to be published either in a
magazine or journal or publish a book, that genealogist had to sell his concept
and then follow through with the entire writing, editing and rewriting process.
Oftentimes the genealogy world seems a bit like a school playground. The
good news is that there is plenty of room on the playground for any genealogist
who wants to join in, play nicely with others, and have some fun.
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| Let's All Play Together and Cheer Each Other On Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net ID-10072556 |
The bad news
is that just like on every other playground, sometimes we won’t get picked for
the team, or we might not win, or perhaps we don’t want to play the game of the
day. And just like on the school playground – we are going to have to learn to
get along, be kind, and encourage everyone to take a turn. Let’s not be those
mean kids (the bullies on the playground) that none of us liked in school.
Let’s be good sports (no matter how hard that is sometimes). I was reminded of
this because of two recent events.
Many of us watched the Olympics, which dominated the news
cycle in February. It is always interesting to watch the journey these athletes
take – they have a real skill in a particular sport that only a few other
athletes in the world can attain. Whether individually or as part of a team
they do their best on a given day and hope to win. On that particular day
talent, luck, persistence, and sometimes a judge’s subjective determination or
the clock will be the deciding factor on whether they win, place or simply get
to compete on the Olympic level. Watching the medal ceremony for women’s hockey
I was a bit saddened and disappointed – I know that team USA played their
hearts out and they wanted to win, but it was not their gold moment. Why?
Because team Canada played just as hard and pulled it out at the end with
talent, sheer determination and luck. The
majority of the team USA members accepted their silver medals with sad faces,
tears and frowns – it was almost as if having not won gold, silver just did not
matter. The few team USA members who smiled and had kind words in response to the
medal presenter made me especially proud. Why? Because no matter how hard that
moment was for them, those women exhibited good sportsmanship and were
excellent role models for young athletes. It’s hard but sometimes, in sports
and in everyday life, you have to suck it up and show good sportsmanship.
Last week Family Tree Magazine published an article entitled
“Social Media Mavericks: 40 to Follow” which appeared online and is in their March/April 2014 print edition. I happened to see a link to the article Tuesday
morning on Google+ and clicked through to see if I could find some new people
to follow on the various social media platforms. The writer listed 40 feeds she considered worth following from
blogs, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and Pinterest. As I read through the list I made
a note of two new-to-me blogs, reminded myself that I should visit Facebook
more than once a month, wondered what my Pinterest password was so I could
check out her picks, and then was totally surprised (thrilled, excited and proud
– the very definition of "doing the happy dance") to see my YouTube Channel listed as one to
check out. No false modesty here - I put time and effort into my videos and it
was so very nice to have Lisa Louise Cooke acknowledge it and direct other
genealogists to check out my channel.
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| We Will Have Many Turns to Shine Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net ID-100143548 |
Fast forward 90 minutes and the article, list and various posts on social media went viral in the genealogy community with posts both from those who
received and those who did not receive a mention – some sharing the news, others wondering
why their favorite social media genealogist was not included, others making additions
to the list or suggesting in their
opinion better choices, some writing separate posts about whether having these
types of lists is a good or bad thing for the genealogy community. Wow, it didn't take
long to smack that hornet’s nest – and the list was not even one of those that
we often see that claims to be “the best, the top choices, the rock stars, the
gurus, or the gold, silver & bronze medalists” – it was simply 40 to check
out and perhaps follow. Now I might be biased because this time I was named to the
list, but I know that in the past I have congratulated those who have been named
to any of these types of lists, especially those who appear for the first time, and I am genuinely happy for them.
So while there were many responses to the article and the list (and in the
past there have been many responses to many such lists) might I suggest that
the polite, thankful and good sportsmanlike response is simply “thank you so
much” if you were named to the list and “good for you” or “congratulations you
must be so thrilled” if you see the name of a fellow genealogist. Let’s all play nice, have an attitude of
gratitude, and just be happy for others when get their moment.
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| Good on You! Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net ID-100200659 |
Thanks for reading - Tessa Keough
